It Ain’t Easy Being Me

I borrowed this title from my Pastor’s sermon last Sunday. It immediately resonated with me.

I’m going to be honest here – and with no disclaimer and justification.

You guys only see the things that I allow you to on my social media platforms. Instagram is probably where I’m most vulnerable, open and show most of my personality. Facebook is usually for pictures of myself (that sounds so vain). And this blog, chile I don’t even know what this is. I still haven’t figured it out yet.

But let me start with the reason I can boldly identify with the title of this post.

Y’all see the photos of different celebrities and I and you like them and comment with the nicest things.

MikeEpps

MarlonWayans

Jussie

Estelle

Erica

The last couple months you’ve even seen me talk to Jazmine Sullivan.

JazmineSullivan

..and Tyrese.

Tyrese

…and Ciara.

Ciara

…and Avant.

Avant

…and Marcus Spears (I’ll share that interview next week).

MarcusSpears

You all see the Glory but don’t know all the things I’ve been through to get to this point in my life. And that’s okay. This isn’t a woe is me post at all. I mean, I’m incredibly blessed to do what I do for a living.

What this is, is a place for me to vent (only to a certain extent though. Those non-disclosure agreements are real, Lol). Vent probably isn’t the right word. More like share. Okay, and vent.

This career I’ve chosen to be apart of is tough. The last few weeks at work have been extremely draining for me (despite two really great interviews). I’ve been faced with so many different obstacles at work and I literally found myself asking God the same questions.

– What am I supposed to be learning from all this?

– Am I really that bad?

– Can we skip this part and just fast forward to TV already?

– I know your plans aren’t to harm me, but…

– CAN WE SKIP THIS PART AND JUST FAST FORWARD TO TV ALREADY? (yep, I was yelling at Him)

While I still don’t have the answers that I’m looking for, I find solace in truly believing that He doesn’t want to harm me. I also find comfort in Him sending people to be my sounding board and offer some of the best advice (insert Mr. Big Stuff). I also remind myself that if I could do it in my own ability there would be no need for God.

Actually, I take it back. I know the answer to my first question.

I’m learning patience. I’m developing tough(er) skin. I’m learning even more about the politics of this industry. I’m making connections with some of the biggest names. I’m learning not to compromise. I’m learning (and putting into practice) how to keep relationships professional when they could so easily go another way.

It’s funny. Now that I’ve typed this all out. I feel better. The Lord always provides and sustains. Even in the simplest forms.

God specializes in the impossible.

It’s not faith if you can see it.

I’m going to keep going. Promise me you’ll do the same.

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